Radio Silence - an apology

I feel that I owe an apology for going radio silent for so long on the blog.  I have been asked on a few occasions by various followers as to when would the next instalment be posted and so here it is and apologies for the delay.

The simple fact is that my cancer treatment has taken its toll and the whole process has certainly been a lot tougher than I imagined. The chemo sessions seem a dim and distant memory but the effects of the radiotherapy treatments are still there, like a nagging wife constantly chipping away at my very being.  

The effects of the radiotherapy are heightened by the soft and sensitive tissues of the mouth and throat and are aggravated by the need to continue to eat and drink despite the pain involved. If however it ultimately does the job I will be thankful and in time the nagging witch will also be consigned to a deep and dark corner of my mind and I will be able to start enjoying life again.

Christmas and New Year passed in a morphine induced blur with me spending most of the time in bed experiencing some rather strange dreams and a few hallucinations, with everyday objects in the bedroom appearing cartoon like or seeming to move unaided across the room. Whilst I am still on Morphine (along with Paracetamol, Ibuprofen and Aspirin) my dosage has now reduced greatly and my dreams have returned to far more mundane matters.

My daily regime includes taking my temperature to ensure my body is not showing signs of fighting  infection. Even picking up a cold can lead to serious complications as my body’s immune system is on its knees due to the extreme nature of the treatment.  Unfortunately in the New Year due to my body exhibiting a raised temperature I was taken into hospital where I spent 6 days at the end of my course of treatment, firstly on a general ward but then as I was diagnosed with a strain of flu, in a private room.

Whilst not the best thing in the world, being hospitalised certainly made the last few radiotherapy sessions easier, as each morning looking like Wee Willie Winkie I wandered through the corridors of the hospital to the dreaded torture chamber to don my gimp mask for the final few sessions of treatment. 

I certainly didn’t miss the 40 minute each way trip to and from Oxford which on more than one occasion resulted in me standing at the side of a road bringing up what little contents I had in my stomach. On one trip having almost made it home, I had to demand that the car be stopped immediately. As I rapidly made my exit on to the lovely residential street in central Marlow, I frantically looked for somewhere to discretely make my deposit but alas, some things wait for no man and so leaning against a garden wall an extremely thin crust pavement pizza was presented.  As the curtains twitched and passers-by crossed to the other side of the road, I couldn’t help but wonder what they must have thought.   For sure none of them would have thought, “I bet he’s going through cancer treatment the poor chap” no it was probably more like “well I jolly never, the standards in Marlow are slipping somewhat, why only yesterday I saw a homeless man in the high street and now an alcoholic stumbling down Glade Road at 10 o’clock in the morning, whatever next”.

The timing of my hospitalisation provided some benefits as we were rapidly approaching the due date for the arrival of my third daughter and having me safely tucked up in the Churchill Hospital brought Emma some peace of mind and gave her one less thing to worry about.

As it happened Georgina was born on the 10^th January, the day after my last Radiotherapy treatment so there was double cause to celebrate that week. Whilst under strict instructions from Emma not to travel the 10 minute journey from my hospital bed at the Churchill to the John Radcliffe where Georgina was born, wild horses wouldn’t have stopped me from holding the latest addition to the Marsh clan on the day she was born.  So with the help of one of Emma’s sisters I made a brief surprise visit and got to see both Emma and Georgina whilst they were still in the recovery room.   Georgie came in at 8lb 10oz and despite only having been in the world for less than an hour looked absolutely amazing – and so I gave a little celebratory jig as clearly the Marsh love beans had struck again, producing yet another beautiful girl!

Georgina at home with a couple of the very many lovely companions she has received as gifts.

Emma went home with Georgina on the morning of the 12^th January and it seemed a long wait for me to get discharged and be able to join them on the evening of 13^th.

On the subject of beautiful girls my two older daughters were desperate to come over and meet their new sister but unfortunately they both had been suffering with colds/flu and we felt terrible in having to make them wait a few days before they could visit.

I really wasn’t too sure how they would both react to having a baby sister but I needn’t have worried.  They both clearly adore her and are amazing with her. 

Just last weekend Emma invited Milly to do her first nappy change and anyone who knows Emma will know when she “asks you”, it’s not optional it’s more like an order from a Commandant in the SS and so like a condemned man on his way to the gallows Milly followed Emma upstairs. By all accounts Milly did a great job though apparently she got off lightly as it turned out to be one of the cleaner nappies we have seen.  Better luck next time J

Megan also got to do her first bottle feed and so all in all we had a lovely few days together.

So just to finish off with an update on my progress. Generally huge positive steps have been taken since completing the treatment though the slightest task (an hour or two at the laptop, a short walk with the pram etc.) leaves me feeling exhausted and needing rest. Whilst the throat and mouth is generally progressing well there is one area that has not really improved and in fact in the past few days has deteriorated slightly.  If I spend more than a few minutes talking the mouth gets very painful – great I hear a few of my nearest and dearest shouting , no more long rambles from Marshy.  I have been told that often the painful lesions that result from Radiotherapy can take several months to completely clear up and in fact can reappear again later (I look forward to that one!).

In summary the recovery is going to be a lot longer than I naively expected and the oncologist recently said it will be 9 -12 months before I feel anywhere near to fully recovered.

The next big milestone is the middle of April when follow up MRI and PET scans will take place and these will tell us if everything is looking clear or, dread the thought, further treatment is required.

One very positive sign is that the lump in my neck has completely gone with the oncologist admitting he can no longer locate it when conducting a physical examination last week.

I will leave it at that for now and wish you all health and happiness for 2017.