After my first marriage broke up shortly after I had turned
40, a common question posed to me by inquisitive friends was when I eventually met
someone who I wanted to settle down with would I have more children. My answer in the early years was always the
same. I love my daughters and genuinely
cherish the time I spend with them and if I met the right person then yes I
would absolutely consider having more kids but I would have to be 100% sure
about the person.
As the years ticked by and as I rapidly approached 50 having
not met anyone who I was willing to commit to, my answer changed to say that as
much as I love kids, I’m too old now - enter stage right Emma Townend!
Emma and I met at Immortal Fitness Bootcamp (there you go
Stu a free plug for you!). We trained at
6am in the parks and countryside around Marlow and I remember when Emma first
joined thinking who is this long legged beauty that has the audacity to think
she can take me on in hill sprints. Emma
in turn was probably thinking how can someone so old continually beat me up a hill
– surely he will croak it soon if he’s not careful.
Anyway after a long, competitive and flirtatious 12 months
and encouraged by several members of the Bootcamp crew who pointed out the
apparent obvious chemistry between us, I eventually grew a pair and asked Emma out
in October 2014.
Early on in our relationship (in fact on the first date) we
had a very open discussion regarding children. I was then rapidly approaching
51 and Emma had turned 37 in the summer. Emma stated that she was not sure that
she actually wanted children as she enjoyed her life too much to sacrifice the
travel and ski adventures that regularly punctuated her years.
From memory, I said something along the lines of “well
that’s fine by me as I have my girls already and in case you hadn’t noticed I’m
getting on a bit.” Thinking little more
of it we proceeded to fill the coming months with travel, adventures and the
most amazing fun times.
So with this back drop, how does a 52 year old man who had a vasectomy
in his late thirties now end up as an expectant father? Well one thing’s for sure – it didn’t happen
by accident!
I’m not certain how far into the relationship that Emma had
a change of heart but I do recall the conversation that took place and suspect
that it was around 10 or 12 months down the line.
If we fast forward to when Emma started to tell her friends
that she was pregnant their universal initial reaction was that of complete
shock as they questioned, “But I thought you didn’t want children?” On more
than one occasion I have heard Emma explain that seeing me with my daughters
and the good relationship I have with them, she felt she would be missing out
if she didn’t have children. Of course
my interpretation of that is a little different – “Don is such an amazing dad
and clearly given how beautiful his two daughters are and what wonderful girls
they are he must have some magic loin beans that produce amazing off-spring and
I want me some of them there beans!”
Of course by the time this change of heart was announced to
me I had completely fallen for Emma and not only couldn’t imagine life without
her but also it felt that having a child with her was the most natural and
obvious thing to do.
Clearly the decision was not an instant one, I needed to
think it through before committing and over a few days many thoughts sprung in
to my mind:
- I would almost certainly be the oldest dad waiting at the school gates
- I would undoubtedly and frequently be mistaken for grandad
- How would my daughters (Megan & Milly) react if Emma and I announced that we were expecting a baby?
- Was it fair on the new child to have such an old dad
- Did I really want to be going through the baby years again
- It would be good training for Emma as she would need to wipe my dribble and change my nappies in a few years
After a period of reflection the decision was made that we
would investigate the possibility of having a baby together. Emma’s view was that if it was not possibly
then that is fine too and we would just fill our life with travel and exciting
adventures. Her level headedness whilst
reassuring was irrelevant – I wanted a child with her and I for one would have
been extremely disappointed if it did not happen.
So one vasectomy reversal later and several visits to the
fertility clinic at the Chelsea and Westminster Hospital ensued including for
me to make a couple of deposits of the magic beans - I can definitely say that
the sterile nature of the experience was not something I especially enjoyed, but here we are expecting a
baby girl (currently referred to as Frogmella) due on the 16th
January - one week after my treatment finishes. Amazing!!
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